Avery's Logic

Avery: You're just the maid.
Me: No, I'm not. I'm the mom.
Avery: Then why do you do all the work?
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Dad, there's a skunk in my bum.
________

Me: I really shouldn't be carrying you because carrying heavy things when you're pregnant could make the baby come out.
Avery: Is he coming out?
Me: I hope not.
(I set her down and she looks at me in relief as she says,)
Avery: You're still fat.
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(I asked Jason to help Avery clean her boogers off the wall. (Lovely, right?) I told him to use rags because in my experience they're really hard to get off and you have to scrub and scrub, but he insisted on using wet-wipes. Then he had to rub in how well they were working.)

Jason to Me: This is easy! It comes right off!
Avery to Jason: If it's so easy then you can do it all by yourself.