Long time gone...

Woo boy do we ever have a lot to catch up on. Ash and I have been married for almost two months now, but we have had a lifetime of experience in those two months. Well... all the life experience two months can give a person.

Where to begin? How about the honeymoon?

People always ask us what we did on our honeymoon. Well, let me tell you - we did sooo much fun stuff! We honeymooned in a little place called Glendale, Utah. I'd never heard of Glendale before so it wouldn't surprise me if you haven't either. Glendale is a tiny town located somewhere along US 89 between Bryce Canyon National Park and Zion National Park. We rented a cabin for a week and had an absolute blast!

There was a small pond in front of the cabin that we swam in a couple of times. We ran into the owner of the home one evening and he mentioned he had seen us in the pond and remarked that nobody had swam in the pond in about 30 years. That made us question what was so wrong with it that in 30 years we were the first brave souls to venture a sea on the pond. Nevertheless, we swam again a couple nights later.

We also went to Bryce Canyon National Park and rode horses, we hiked, caught horny toads, rode a four wheeler and went fishing (still haven't caught anything... 15 years and counting). It was the best week ever!

Upon our return, we have continued our adventures in the great outdoors. In fact, just recently, Ash and I went to Vernon Reservoir to do some camping and a training triathlon. Ashley talked this place up as if it's heaven on earth so I was excited to see it for myself. Turns out, it is anything but.

We got to the reservoir and started walking to where we would camp. Ashley had bragged about how the place has no mosquitoes and is perfect for sleeping out under the stars. We were about half-way to the camp site when the mosquitoes thought it appropriate to launch their assault. It's hard to swat mosquitoes when your hands are full. I ended up knocking myself about the head with various camping implements to try and persuade the mosquitoes to stop biting me. It didn't work. We beat a hasty retreat to the car where we came up with Plan B.

Plan B involved riding around on our mountain bikes looking for a suitable place to make camp. We found a nice clearing not far from an outhouse (location, location, location). We set up camp and began making our tin foil dinners, which I promptly burned in our bon... er, um... campfire.

After listening to coyotes howl in the distance, we decided it was time to knock off for the night. We laid in our sleeping bags under a couple trees and retired for the night. About 4:30am, I awoke to the sound of rustling near our fire pit. I laid there awake for a few minutes wondering what sort of horrid beast was rummaging through our camp. I shone a light around where we were sleeping to see if I could figure out what was out there. My light caught a pair of eyes glaring right at us. Being the brave man I am, I woke Ashley up to protect us. She sleepily asked me what the problem was and when I pointed out the eyes in the darkness she said she didn't see anything and I should stop freaking out. What a brave woman I married!

I then pointed out the rustling I heard and Ashley, in her ever-benevolent attitude gave me the opportunity to grow some courage, told me to go see what it was. She must have been cold because when I looked back at her, all I could see was a shaking sleeping bag with an Ashley ball in the middle of it. I patted her and told her I'd be back soon.

I crept up to the car, which was conveniently parked between us and the fire pit, and shone my light in the direction of the rustling. I was prepared to see a bear or wolf eating our food, but instead saw two well-fed skunks. When they saw me, their tails went straight up. This helped me remember how cold I was and I dove into my sleeping bag and balled right up.

After warming up for a bit, I realized the skunks had gone and the sun had come up. Amazing how easy it is to see clearly in the daylight. We decided to begin our triathlon and thought it would be a good idea to do it in reverse order so it would be warmer for our swim.

We walked along a dirt road to the main road where we were to begin our run. We had no sooner set out than we noticed, about 50 yards ahead, two Boxer dogs. They noticed us soon after we noticed them. Apparently all the world is their backyard because they didn't much like us being there and thought they'd come over and tell us in person. Two snarling Boxers running full speed at a person will help one discover how quickly he can run.

Being the canine-phobe I am, however, I was glued to the dirt on which I was standing. I began screaming and hollering because I was afraid I was going to be eaten for breakfast. I apparently reached a frequency that is audible to dogs only because they turned back around and wanted nothing to do with us. Take that!

After a uneventful run and bike ride, we thought we'd finish up our triathlon by fishing. I thought I'd break my 15 year fishless streak by landing a whopper. On one of my casts, however, my fishing pole decided to take a swim as it broke in half mid-cast. A long dark object flew past my head and splashed in the lake. Ashley immediately began laughing and I looked around confused for a second before realizing my pole was in the water. Fortunately, I had the good sense enough to reel it in. Turns out, it was our only catch of the day.

(Some parts of this may or may not be exaggerated or misinterpreted by the author. I'm sure, though, Ashley will set the record straight at some point.)

**SAPPY WARNING**

So Vernon wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but it turns out that it was a very memorable trip. From mosquitoes to skunks to dogs to losing my fishing pole, I would do it all over again. The best part, though, was being with Ashley. She is, in every sense of the word, the love of my life. I don't know what I'd do without her. She is such a great person and I admire and love her so much. I am happier than I've ever been before and it's not difficult to figure out why - I'm married to an awesome woman. I consider myself the most blessed and lucky man on earth to have her for my wife.